Super Happy Chaos LLC
Nightmare Fuel in the Present to Prepare You for the Existential Horror of the Future
SQUIRREL MEAT? YES!
Influenced by the brilliant decision of a heroic Holland, Michigan man to use a blow torch to skin a squirrel at his apartment complex, Super Happy Chaos LLC challenges your comfort zones with full immersion at our monthly camp of enforced serenity. Become one with your food through meditative practice (except for the delicious canned squirrel meat offered at – SQUIRLS! SQUIRLS! SQUIRLS! Furry Strip Club of Unusual Game Meats – at additional costs).
What is long pork? That’s our surprise. Our camp is one of the few in the nation given Florida’s seal of approval to accept individuals against their will who have been eating an observable amount of organic foods including but not limited to Tempeh, Tofu, Feta Cheese, Kefir, Coconut Yogurt, and Squash prior to attendance. Individuals of a sustainable weight who utilize organic shea butter annually are also accepted. For those not deemed “fit,” to riff on Trent Reznor, Super Happy Chaos LLC will “Bring You Closer To God.”
Our Burnt Offerings
NIGHTMARES! NIGHTMARES! NIGHTMARES!
Unique protein sourcing solutions that combine traditional aquaponics with alternative game meat production and processing. To maintain occupancy standards enjoy near instant sleep with the aid of cybernetic ear cockroaches and an anesthetic guaranteed to give you amnesia in regards to all that “digging” you hear.
During break times, learn about Gandhi’s Love of Nuclear Weapons, Bobby Kennedy’s Secret Plan to Bring Back Slavery, and Mark Twain’s use of Grok AI to Write Huckleberry Finn.
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PARANOIA!
Advanced aquaponics systems integrated with cybernetic monitoring and surveillance technology. Watch your fish and plants grow while special guest, a cat o’ nine tail wielding Ann Coulter in clothing influenced by the 1975 classic film “Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS” instructs elderly women with thick northern Minnesota accents to repeatedly ask “Where is the Fish?” “Where is the Plant? “Where is YOU?” while gently massaging lukewarm Bell’s Two Hearted Ale and Lutefisk into all your orifices while the hum of armed HESA Shahed 136 drones provides soothing sounds of relaxation.
Existential Dread Immersion Workshops Done Florida Style
Immersive educational experiences that combine aquaponic’s training with philosophical exploration of surveillance, technology, meth, and future preparedness. Learn sustainable farming while confronting uncomfortable underwear choices and occasionally land-mined nature while you acquire the right degree of marbling. Learn which rats can detect explosive resin and which ones just want to eat your face by how they look at you. Always looking at you.